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RN, pregnancy, babies, breastfeeding
Musings of a Dreamer
Random thoughts from a retired nurse...
I belong to the epitome of dysfunctional families! I know most people… 
29th-Mar-2006 02:34 pm
RN, pregnancy, babies, breastfeeding
I belong to the epitome of dysfunctional families! I know most people feel that way these days. I have had to distance myself from my mother because she is so toxic to my soul. I know that sounds melodramatic, but it is how I feel. I don't think I was made to tolerate negative talk and a negative atmosphere for extended periods of time. I know some people can. I have three brothers -- and now maybe one sister -- who apparently can take all that mom dishes out and wait around for some more. They take her word as Gospel, even though they never bothered to find out what happened "on the other side of the fence." Mom has this propensity for lying and making others believe her and for making herself out to be a martyr. It was bad enough when we all were younger, but now she is 73 and some of us are now grandparents ourselves...but she hasn't improved in time. She hasn't wisened up. She hasn't learned any lessons. What she did this past week has totally humiliated and shamed me. I cannot believe my mother did what she did! My brother's ex moved to this state and brought along her youngest daughter (who isn't my brother's child) and my brother's only grandchild. My brother, nor anyone else in my family, had never seen his grandson before (and this child is now 6 years old)--so even though his relationship with his ex (who he has not seen in almost 20 years) hasn't existed for a long time, he took them in because they moved from 2000 miles away and had nowhere to stay. My mother on seeing my ex SIL told her that she would never have anything to do with either the youngest daughter nor my brother's grandson!
The girl didn't ask to be born into the situation she is in within the family--she shouldn't have to be punished and ostracized because of her mother's indiscretion 15 years ago. But....my brother's grandson is blood! 100% blood related! Why doesn't my mother want to have anything to do with him? Because his father is Hispanic!!! What a crock!!!! I was so disgusted when I heard this. I am so ashamed that she is my mother. No wonder she and I don't get along---we are so different in how we view people, families and life in general. So, what does this mean for another one of my brothers and one of my sisters and their kids? Both of those sibs have spouses of Mexican heritage. I know my mother doesn't like my sister's husband or their kids, but she makes such a fuss over my other brother's family--even though the kids are also half-Mexican! I wonder how that brother would feel if he knew what my mother really thought about his wife and kids? My mother has 16 grandchildren and she isn't close to ANY of them!! She was close to my youngest sister's daughters, but after my mother's "performance" in front of those girls, they are afraid of her now. My mother raised us kids not to be prejudiced. We got in trouble if we used certain racist words that kids used back then. We were verbally told not to hate others. Little did we know that deep down inside apparently both of our parents (my father passed away 20 years ago) were/are very bigoted. We got to see that side of our parents as we ourselves became adults. Ugh!!! I feel so badly for my brother and his family!
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